I’m going to talk to you a little bit about Narcissistic Personality Disorder. What is it, and what do we do? So, as I said, today I want to talk with you about Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Now, our community, so many of you have requested this, and so what that tells me is that if you are worried that maybe you’re the only person out there who’s been diagnosed with it, or it’s so weird, I’m embarrassed. Don’t be. You’re not alone. This diagnosis exists for a reason. People struggle with this, right?
what I’m just going to tell you about today is what are the characteristics of it, how do clinicians look at clients and try to figure out what they may be struggling with? And the main point of this being that if you think that you’re struggling with this, this article is in no way to help you diagnose yourself, but it means that maybe you should seek out a therapist. Because that would be my number one recommendation for those of you who are struggling with this or have this diagnosis.
Is seek help. See a psychiatrist, see a therapist, get some support because like everything that I talk about, we can work through it, right? We can make it more manageable so that we don’t feel so hindered by our diagnosis. So. Someone with Narcissistic Personality Disorder, what does it look like? Now, the number one thing that as a therapist I’d be like, that’s a little red flag, maybe this is something that they struggle with.” Is someone who has a really inflated sense of self.
They’ll feel really good about who they are. I call it kind of puffer chesting. We’re so proud, we’re so excited, and we think that everything we do is, better than sliced bread. We oftentimes think that everything we’re doing is great. And we also tend to lack empathy for other people because we see those people as almost competitors. And we’re trying to get better, and we’re the best, we’re number one, right? And we will sometimes even put people down or hurt others, like, climb over people at work to get that job that we think we deserve.
It can be difficult sometimes for people we’re in relationships with because we have to be the best. And we believe we’re the best and we can be really stubborn about it too. And I can even admit, I am very stubborn. So, I totally understand. But this is something that will just permeate a lot of our life and so it can be really difficult. And in school and in work it usually comes out first because those are places of competition. And since we have this belief that, you know,
That we’re very unique and that nobody else can actually understand our experience, that we are the best in everything, it can be really difficult at work and in school, because it’s supposed to be a place of, not equality, but working together, right? The signature characteristics of many personality disorders can be quite unpleasant, such as the case of Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Interacting with an NPD sufferer can be confusing, frustrating, and even hurtful. The NPD Individual will often overlook or ignore many of these traits that make them unlikable. Here are nine signs, which may be a result of narcissism.
1. Instead of listening they’re wrapped up in their own opinion. Ever felt looked down upon or ignored, even though that person was in no position to do so? You might have encountered a sign of narcissism. The perception leads them to believe what you have to say isn’t important, so they blank it out. Rather than actively listening and integrating into discussions, they treat all conversations as a platform to present their ideas only, which they think are the only ideas worth listening to.
2. They tend to cheat in relationships. Narcissists feel their treasures that are too good for anyone. Bring this attitude into a relationship and you have lightning waiting to strike. Cheating is often a way for narcissists to build their egos. Author Katarina Valentini at Psychology Today says that narcissists are incapable of forming any kind of normal relationship and will wreak havoc in partners’ lives. Betraying someone and leaving them in great grief gives a narcissist a rush of power.
3. They constantly need to be admired. If you’ve seen a narcissist, maybe you’ve seen that they almost swagger. Oozing conceit and arrogance with every breath. They may look like they possess tremendous confidence, but it’s not enough. They need constant admiration. The delusion of always being entitled to admiration is why people around them often find themselves emotionally drained. To them, there’s no greater rush than being put on a pedestal and worshipped by their fans and followers.
4. They do not take any criticism well. Have you ever commented on something someone said and they lashed out at you? Maybe the reaction was more hostile than expected. They think they’re superior to others around them and believed themselves to be infallible. They react poorly, maybe yelling, throwing a tantrum, or with another unreasonable response, when they perceive what you’ve said might be criticism.
5. They exploit others without guilt or shame. Narcissism and empathy don’t go hand in hand. Narcissists are unwilling to see the world from the perspective of others. As a result, they’re able to exploit others without any feeling of remorse. They can manipulate people to fulfill their own needs without regard for the consequences that their actions may have on others.
6. They belittle others. The narcissist thinks they’re the best and brightest so singing proof that dictates otherwise, like someone who is more talented than they are at a particular activity, is a rude shock. The response is to make sure that the person is below them where the narcissists feel most others belong. They try to be dismissive about the other person to show that they don’t really even care about them. And if that doesn’t work, they resort to personal attacks. They belittle and intimidate the other person in order to assert superiority over them.
7. They see themselves as more attractive than they really are. Despite the fact that everyone should feel attractive, there’s a fine line between a healthy self-image and being delusional. This line is often crossed by narcissists, who believe that they are exceptionally attractive, regardless of having any imperfections. The narcissist uses this perceived superior attractiveness to justify to themselves why they’re too good for everyone.
8. They gaslight those who are dear to them. Have you ever noticed feeling that you can’t remember anything correctly around a specific person? When you’re with that person, do you feel a little like you’ve lost your mind? That’s due to gaslighting. Tactic narcissists use in order to manipulate and gain power and control over those around them. Gaslighting is frightening because it’s insidious. The manipulation is lengthy and gradual, so the victim doesn’t notice it happening, like when you grow taller. The end result of the long-term gradual manipulation is the devastation of the victim. It can reduce the most healthy confident person down to being a shaking paranoid shell. The victim no longer believes they know what’s real, so they adopt the reality of the abuser, giving the narcissus full control.
9. They put some people on pedestals. Our last sign seems oddly contradictory to the other signs, but it is very logical, and here’s why: Narcissists believe that they have to have perfection in everything, including people they associate with. A narcissist will often cozy up to someone higher in status, believing that the perfection will somewhat rub onto them. For example, That suck-up in class who always gets the lecturer’s full attention, or the brown-noser at work who barely does any work, but gets promotions. Do you or does anyone you know show these signs of narcissism?